While looking closely at the matter of prison reform over the past months, I've found it hard not to finger as part of the problem the vast increase in the number of possible misdemeanours on the statute books. Every government appears to be guilty of escalation but – and without pointing that finger – Tony Blair is often celebrated, if that's the right word, for having created more than one new criminal offence for every single day he was in power. We're all faced with a bewildering multitude of potential infractions, and so there's little doubt we've all inadvertently broken innumerable laws. I myself confess that, when moving some years ago from Brixton to Tooting, I cheerfully infringed the law that prohibits us from hanging a bed out of a window.
And, though I don't think I've broken the 2009 law against using a "non-approved technique for weighing herring", who amongst us can confidently say that they haven't breached the Salmon Act of 1986, which lays down that we're not allowed to handle a salmon in "suspicious circumstances"? And need I mention the Licensing Act of 1872, still very much in force though – happily - not often enforced, which makes it illegal to be intoxicated in a pub? Sometimes it feels as though governments presume they need to enact as many laws as possible to stay afloat. 'I legislate, therefore I am', as Descartes might now think to himself, were he in Westminster.
So it's good to be back in Somerset for Easter and catch up with things non-legislative. As a parliamentary candidate, I was able to run around our towns and villages for six or seven days a week. But now as an MP, by far the greater part of time is spent plodding Parliament's corroded corridors, leaving just two or three days each week under the West Country's clear sky.The Easter recess means that I'm lined up to visit scores of local businesses, from Crown Pet Foods to James Chocolates. Among other things, I can pop into a few schools and local charities, record a couple of shows with Frome FM, take the kids to Frome Town FC, meet the Highways Agency to push forward the A303 work, host surgeries, meet people and – terrifyingly – take on all comers in a "badminathon": a four-hour badminton tournament to raise money for Huish Leisure Sports Centre.
Then, like the Red Queen in Alice Through the Looking-Glass, it'll be back to Westminster and running quickly to stay still. You'll recall Alice pointing out that in England, "you'd generally get to somewhere else if you run very fast for a long time, as we've been doing.""A slow sort of country!" says the Queen. "Now here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!"
I hope we can run from this wonderful paradox.